Sunday, March 31, 2013

Camping with Koreans

A couple of weeks ago, Ellen and I signed up to go on a camping trip with our cross-fit gym. We thought it would be cool to make some Korean friends in our area that we see on a day to day basis. So we paid our 25 dollars to go on a camping trip. We kept trying to find out where we were going or what we needed to bring, but no one had an answer for us. They said "just bring yourself"...we were like, "what about food, or sleeping bag, we have no tent, is that ok? Should we bring soju?" The reply "bring what you want, we bring everything."

Unknowing of what is going on, we show up Saturday morning with our stuff at 10 am feeling slightly "under the weather." Everyone laughs at how much stuff we have (which for me was just a sleeping bag, pad, some warm clothes and marshmallows). Then we head on our way. Our new friend, Jason, drives us and even he has no idea where we're going. Eventually we turn onto this road, that isn't a road at all, but a paved...mound of dirt? with fields on each side? I don't even know how to describe it...here is a picture (sketchy is what it was).

We drive past this lake, full of garbage, where people are fishing. Some people fish from boats. Other people fish from little houses. They have small floating houses (REALLY small) that fit probably one bed, and then they set their fishing stuff out side and use the house part to avoid the sun (I pretty much made all of that up, but that's my best guess).

Then we turn into the "campsite" which looks like a mound of dirt. Layers of mounds of dirt. When I think of camping, I think of beautiful places, or hiking, or....something to do. This place, not so beautiful, and NOTHING to do.

We get there and everyone starts setting stuff up. But not speaking the language, we have no idea what to do or how to ask how to help or anything, so we stand around and watch. After everything is set up, they build a fire and feed us some hotdogs (yum!). Then when everyone is bored, we decide to go rent some boats and go rowing. We row around for about an hour. Oh...each boat must have one man (because they're stronger, naturally). Turns out our one man, not so strong. Doesn't quite get the concept of paddles IN the water to make the boat go. He starts to row us back, and gets us stuck next to shore in the garbage water. Ellen and I try and direct him in very broken English. Then I finally stand up and say "changeee" and he moves, and I haul ass out of there. Everyone is very shocked (especially my trainer because she seems to think I've never worked out before in my life (FALSE) and yet I can row better than the next guy (literally)). At that point, we were cold, it was windy, and we wanted to just go back. Not to mention we were extremely exhausted from the night before.
Life Jacket, no big deal. 


When we get back to the campsite, they start cooking again. Meat. Lots and lots of meat. BEST meat I've ever tasted though, seriously. SO SO good. We eat, we drink, it starts raining. I decided to sit inside the tent with the heater (yes, we had a heater) and make best friends with the littler girl. That's right, did I mention that one of the first things we found out when we got to the campsite was that one of our Aran students was there (his parents recognized us right away). Fortunately he wasn't OUR kid and his sister was adorable AND they didn't stay the night, so it was fine. So anyways, I start making friends with the girl, passes the rainy time, good times had by all. Also ate some DELICIOUS hamburger meat of some kind. WOW the food was soooo good all weekend long.
My new little friend. She went and got her sun glasses because I was wearing mine! OMG so adorable!
This meat was sooooo good. Seriously. I can't even explain. 

Camping Korean style...with a heater, and electrical outlet.

Gym owners gettin jiggy Gangnam Style. 

All in all,  made some awesome new friends, experienced camping Korean style, and had a fun time!

Some cultural things that I thought were hilarious:

  • They were absolutely fine with burning plastic. These people, who if they have tiny bit of black on their meat think they'll get cancer...BURN PLASTIC!
  • Obviously alcohol opens everyone up a little, but Koreans are particularly shy around us..until alcohol is involved. Then they are QUITE open.
  • The heater thing.
  • Also, Koreans are quite the sharers...and it's still a little hard to get used to. Very kind, but also, being a Westerner, I like MY things for ME....
  • Koreans LOVE marshmallows. They ate them all day, all night and all morning. Thank you Costco and you're welcome Fitness Camp people!
  • We got stared at a lot. Ellen made a nice analogy this morning about how we're like zoo animals...you wanna watch them from afar, but you don't necessarily want to get in the cage. (I think some of them were legitimately afraid of us)

In other news. Today was Easter. So we decided to dye some Easter eggs thanks to my lovely mother who sent me egg dye. However we only had apple vinegar...didn't work quite so well...but got the job done. Oh and BROWN eggs (some colors don't work so well, like yellow). And the kit itself was a tye dye kit, not a normal dye kit. So we probably did the whole thing wrong. Oh and then found out that our flat of like 30 eggs weren't boiled all the way, so we can't give them away or eat them, most of them we'll have to throw out :( Oh well...it's about the process NOT the product (story of our teaching lives and otherwise...reggio emilia style up in Korea)

Have a great Easter everyone! People here are still pretty un-phased about North Korea. Not sure how to feel at this point. I guess not much I can do but have a plan, some cash, and my passport ready to go? I love you all! Miss the great Miguk (Korean for America). I hit my 6 months of being IN Korea on the 25th ish, but won't hit my 6 month teaching mark till the 15th. It's hard right now. I miss home. I hope with the weather change, time will start to FLY...if only the weather would change. LOVE!!!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Saint Patty's Day and My Kiddos!

This year I celebrated Saint Patrick's Day for the first time in the history of my life. Which is ironic, because I'm in Korea. However Seoul has a "huge" Saint Patty's party every year so me and my coworkers decided to trek that way. I've never been a huge Saint Patty's goer, but I think the love that my co-worker Ellen has for the holiday moved me in that direction. We started our festivities at 11am which included (but was not limited to) as many temporary tattoos as I could find room for on  my body (they quickly became an obsession of where I could put them...I haven't done them since I was like, 10) decorating our selves in everything green, and taking pictures. Then around 12:30 we headed to the festival.

Here I am all tatted up!

 We got there and it was actually a fairly small area. However it was PACKED with foreigners and green. There were pretty much zero Koreans. The coolest part about being there, in my opinion, was it helped me see the community and friends I've made during my time here in Korea. It was amazing to see so many people I knew that I had been on trips with, or met out, or who were friends of friends. This reminded me of being out in Bellingham when you walk into a bar and everyone is a familiar face. It was quite nice to see so many familiar faces in such a foreign country and in such a HUGE city.

This is the festival. There was some Irish dancing in the middle and everyone was watching and drinking and talking. 



Green beer!

After that, we moseyed on over to the other main foreigner part of town (Itaewon) where there are a couple Irish pubs, but also mostly just a good time. I experienced my first ever green beer, and did more socializing with friends and coworkers. It was overall a really fun time and I'd like to thank Ellen for loving Saint Patrick's Day so much that I got to fully experience it : )

In other news, the new school year is still extremely difficult and taxing. However we have the CUTEST 5 year olds (although in American age they're 3 and 4 year olds) I have ever seen in my life! They literally make my day every day. EVERY DAY. They are the joys of my teaching. Them and this one kid, Ryan. The other day I was walking with him to his class and I said "Ryan, you are the diamond in the rough." (because our classes really are very rough right now) and he just looked up at me and was like "Teacher, what?" and then Mandy Teacher (that's my co teacher) was like "Ryan, you're like Aladdin." And he was like "oh." and that was it. I have a passion for these students, even if they often refuse to be taught. Sigh. We'll get there soon kids, we will.
My fives playing freeze dance.
 
Playing a name game with our kids in a "circle"


More freeze dance (me and little Andy)

And you guessed it...more freeze dance. (We play a lot of freeze dance because they speak next to no English). 

And these are a couple of my 7's. However the purpose of this picture is to show you my little diamond in the rough, Ryan, in the front wearing blue. Oh how endless their adorableness is. And yet they are so challenging. 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

New Faces

In the past few weeks, many changes have happened here in good ole Korea. The biggest downfall to being an expat is constantly having to say goodbye to people. And unfortunately this ranges from children to coworkers to loved ones to friends.

With the start of the new school year, I lost nearly all of my 7's I was teaching. They graduated Kindergarten and moved to first grade. The good news is, I still see about 5 of my kids I had last year at our elementary in the evenings. The bad news is, the rest of them are gone. It's quite sad. The other good news, however, is that I have a whole lot of new 7 year olds, and boy are they cute (some of the time).

Another change that occurred at our school is the classes in which we teach. Originally I was teaching 4 35 minute classes with 30 kids, a 60 minute class with 7 kids, and then my elementary second graders with 5 kids. NOW I'm teaching 2 7's classes of 30 kids for 30 minutes, a class of 30 5 year olds (which in korea are actually 3 years old) for 30 minutes (that starts on Monday, I'll let ya know how that goes), a class of 21 kids for 80 minutes and then 3rd grade with my same kids (YAY!) plus 2 more, one of which was my old student back in october and november. So to say the least, our style in which we are teaching, as well as curriculum and time periods, have changed very dramatically. Today is only day 4 of teaching this way, so it's still taking a lot of getting used to and we STILL don't even have all of our classes yet.

All that aside, we got 2 new coworkers, who are simply fantastic...one from good ole "Seattle" (actually Lynnwood for those who are counting...but I tell people I'm from Seattle as well because that gets me closer to home than even saying Washington because people assume D.C), the other is from Cali. Both speak Korean so that's kind of nice to have around in our lives :)

However I also lost Anushca and Steve...people who were in my life for such a brief amount of time (although they'll prooooobably still be around even though they're not in Korea, and in fact ARE in communication with me even though they aren't in Korea)..but they had such a huge impact on me because they're super awesome people, and I'm sad they're gone :(

Let's see...other changes, I just joined a gym this week. Workout day 3 completed today. Personal trainer surprised an extra thing in my set and then an extra set overall. But I'm excited about it and its going well. Although on a side note, Ellen and I were watching soccer while doing our cardio, and Korean soccer drives me crazy. They're all really big babies and get ouchies too easily. Jeez laweez. So not necessary.

Ah and if you're in the states and reading this, I'm sure you're quite concerned for my safety with North Korea and a ripped up armistice and nuclear bombs and whatnot. The funny thing about Koreans is they are completely unphased. Not to mention, they don't like to talk about it. Essentially, North Korea give this threat like every  year and nothing ever happens. Sure, sure there is a new ruler now, but they are still not worried. My take on the matter...if they're gunna nuke this country, there's not a whole lot I can do about it as a civilian. Reminds me of World War whatever when people were practicing hiding under their desks if we got nuked.
If you get nuked, your desk isn't gunna save ya. In my opinion, it's kind of in the hands of the governments and militaries of all countries,  and since I'm involved with neither, I take what's coming my way. Living life to the fullest, having no regrets, and telling my loved ones I love them as often as I can (hey loved ones, I love you!) So take a deep breath. I'm doing fine and dandy over here, and really, whatshisface in North Korea probably hates America more than South Korea so maybe you have more to worried about than I do? I'm worried about YOU in the states, so don't you worry about ME in South Korea :)

Love to all!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Same Place, New Adventures

Last weekend I went to Busan. Now as you may know, my very first weekend in Korea was spent in Busan learning to surf for Chuseok. This time, it was Lunar New Year and MaLeah and I wanted to bust out of town for our 3 day weekend that are few and far between, especially for her. We found a trip last minute to Busan so we wired our money and were on our way at 11pm on Friday night.

MaLeah spent her 5 hours on the bus making new friends, while I spent mine sleeping. We rolled into Busan around 5 am and then slept until 12. At that time, we got up and went to brunch at a bar on the beach. The food was AMAZING and we hung out there all day playing shuffle board and such. Then we moved to the beach and hung out some more. After that, it was nap time until about 630 when we had to be on the bus to go to dinner with our crew. Dinner was a traditional Southern meal of pulled pork and baked beans (so delicious and nearly impossible to come by in Korea). We spent the night out, having a blast and making far too many memories (or lack thereof) as well as making new friends.

The following day we were supposed to go on a hike, but instead paid 1.50 for a train ride up to the top (well worth it after the night we had). There was a beautiful view of the ocean and a lighthouse along the way.

After our trip up the hill, we headed towards the famous fish market. It was fascinating and disgusting to see all of those fish. The main attraction of the fish market was closed. Supposedly there is a 3 story building where you can go in, choose your fish, they'll chop it up and serve it to you right there. That building was closed, however that's pretty much how the entire fish market worked anyways. As we walked along the outdoor part, we saw many fish, eel, and even a turtle here and there. We stopped to watch this man make something that seemed like it would turn out to be a fish soup. It was quite interesting to watch. A man told him which fish he wanted (this included a HUGE 4 foot fish that was like, a foot wide, and eel, 2 turtles, and a few other fish) and then the man threw it into a steamer. Then he mixed up some spices, mushrooms, and seasonings and added them to the pot. At that point, we got bored and continued along our merry way to find some skinless, headless, mini eel type things still squirming. We decided at that point, we were over the fish market.

As we were walking back towards the bus, I heard a small little voice say "Melissa Teachaaa!" One of my students, 6 hours from home, randomly in the streets of Busan, all dressed in her Hanbok for Lunar New Year. Adorable.

The evening progressed with another nap, more delicious "Western" style food and drinks for dinner and then a really cool bar that's 14 floors up in a building on the beach. Talk about gorgeous views!

On the last day, we went back to breakfast at the place we were at the first day in Busan, then we went to the temple by the sea. Sorry I was not too on top of pictures this time because I had already been to this temple previously. However we were there during the day this time, and it's still absolutely gorgeous.

The trip ended with another 5 hour bus ride back to Seoul with my new roomies and new homies and it was an entirely memorable weekend that I'll probably never forget.

(Pictures to come...)

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Get the Ball Rolling


So this weekend, as you may or may not know, I attended a military ball. When I was first asked to attend by my friend, Steve, I was a little surprised, shocked, and mostly thinking “a ball? Really? What century is this?” To say the least, it was really awesome!

I went on a hunt for my dress 3 weekends prior, found one that wouldn’t work, then went on another dress hunt the following weekend to a different area where I was successful. That was quite an experience in and of itself. The first place we went, the lady had me try on a few dresses, right there, change in the middle of the store. Strip down. When I asked her how much the dresses were, she informed me they were around 300 something dollars. I was like no way byebye. Went to the next place, asked the lady if she had any around the 100 dollar range and I scored big time. At least trying on dresses at this place, there was a small curtain with no light so it was very dark and hard to see. But the lady was super nice, good English, and quite encouraging. She told me she’d alter the dress for free as well.

This brings me to the ball itself. It’s in another city, 3 hours away. Steve and I hop on the train at 1030 in the morning and arrive in Daegu around 1:30. We taxi to the hotel, get out, see a bunch of steve’s friends, go to check in to this super nice hotel and they’re like “sorry everyone, you have the wrong hotel.” We’re like “uhhhh we’re at the right one, isn’t this where the military ball is?” and she was like “no, that’s at the other hotel with the same name.” So she writes down the address, Steve and I squish in a car with 3 other guys, and we follow the girl with the gps. After navigating the crazy Korean streets, driving like Koreans, we pull into a gas station. We are informed that this is where the GPS says the hotel is. So now we have to ask Koreans for directions. Fortunately, we have one Korean with us and she tells us where to go and we finally arrive, at 3 pm, ball starts at 5, and I haven’t eaten since the morning. Steve and I run across the street after checking in to eat some food, then I hurry my little self up to get ready in an hour and a half.

We’re successfully ready for social hour at 5:05 and head down to the hotel bar to have a drink before we go to social hour. After our overpriced gin and tonic, social hour commences. A bunch of wonderfully dressed people are standing around, greeting each other, introducing their wives and dates, taking pictures and buying drinks. We get our picture taken professionally and have ourselves a drink. Then we are told it’s time to enter the ballroom. We all pour into the ball room, stand behind our chairs, and so it begins.
We pray, participate in some toasts, watch the flags come in, sing the anthems of Korea and the U.S. then sit down and eat a fantastic dinner. Wow. It was so good. Cream of broccoli soup, steak, salmon, a few veggies, some salad, and cheesecake for dessert. Then we begin to watch people get different “awards” (that’s in quotations cuz I don’t know what to actually call them, they aren’t really awards, promotional medals maybe?...I think yes). Then it’s time for the dragon idol, where people from within the army are performing different things. Pretty cool. Pretty good. When that’s over, the flags leave and then so do the people. People pretty much dispersed, either going down to the hotel bar, or out to downtown Daegu. We ended up taking that road, had a blast in Daegu, and then the night was over.

Overall I had a really good time, I was so happy to be there. A new cultural experience and not one I thought I’d ever get, especially in Korea. So big thanks to Steve for taking me and being great company.

Steve and I at the ball. 

In other news, it snowed like 4 inches last night so our bus to school has been delayed. It’s also the superbowl right now and I can’t watch it cuz I thought I was gunna be working. So I’ll be watching it later after work, and therefore ignoring all social media all day. Although I’ll be honestly proud if I can make it through the whole day without finding out who won. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Fishing, Friends, and Flabbergasted!


Ok so as many of you know, I posted some pictures on facebook of this lovely Hwacheon Ice Festival that I went to on Sunday. I would like to tell you all about it. But let me first tell you something not relevant to that story that I’m equally as excited about. I made real real chocolate chip cookies on Saturday. Like so real that I got to eat the dough. I also ate real real Pizza Hut pizza (supreme, no mush) and it was fantasmagical. YUM!

Ok so Sunday morning, leave my apartment at 7, get to the subway for an hour long subway ride INTO Seoul just to go on a 3 hour bus ride OUT of Seoul (see the irony here)? Anyways, we arrive to the bus station at approximately 8:15 and the next bus leaves at 8:35. Perfect. Since it’s early in the morning, we sleep most of the way there. Perfect. We arrive to Hwacheon and are shown a map and told which direction to walk. We are told to walk about 10 minutes and then left and we’re there in the foreigner fishing area. So we walk (it’s really only about 5 minutes) and we search for the foreigner fishing area. In doing so, we walk past all the Koreans ice fishing, noticing their fishing technique and tools. They do not use a fishing pole but a plastic thing that has a colorful plastic thing on the end with the fishing line wrapped around it and a lour at the end. Then they do this up down motion. Slowly drop the line down, yank it up. Repeat repeat repeat until you catch a fish. Ok so finally we figure out we’re in the “wrong area” because there are no foreigners. As we walk back, we see the huuuuge blue sign that says “Ice Fishing for Foreigners.” How did we miss this before? We walk up the area and the man says, “You need ticket.” We go inside to the ticket and the girl says “You need fishing tools, go buy them.” So we wander to go buy them and stumble upon the catching fish by hand thing about to commence. This man is talking in Korean Korean Korean and we’re like we have no idea what’s going on. Finally, all the people start cheering and a hoard of about 30 Koreans wearing orange t-shirts and blue shorts walk out of this big tent (keep in mind it is about 12 degrees outside). They are freezing, they do this ceremony where the man with the mic makes one guy stick a fish in his mouth (essentially he was telling them when they catch a fish, they have to put it in their shirt or in their pants to hold it while they catch another. He was also inferring that you could hold it in your mouth, but the boy who modeled this strongly advised against it as he spit out the nasty taste on the ground). They then spread themselves around the pool (still not quite in the water yet) and he asks 4 people to get in. They have to do this ceremony where they get all the way wet head and all, but the 2 girls flake. Then they do it again and the boys force them in. Good laughs by all. Then everyone gets in the water and the hand fishing commences. More good laughs had by all as people are sticking nasty fish in their shirts and their flopping all over the place.
Here are the people sticking fish in their shirts in the freezing cold water. 

After the hand fishing, we find Armando and Brigitte and head to buy some fishing tools. The man tells us the tool is 6 dollars and we were like ok let’s just get 2 and see if we can bum some off other people. He sells us 2 for 10 instead of 12. What a bargain. We go back to the tent, pay our 8 dollars to fish, and then the nice man who took our money tells us that we can borrow poles. Ok. Great. So glad we bought these other two poles then. So finally, we go to the ice and I stick my rod in the water, down up, down up. And I scream “I CAUGHT A FISH!” Everyone around is staring because I just screamed really loud and look really freaked out as this fish is flopping around on the ice. The nice man who let us borrow some tools had told me previously that when I catch a fish, I’m going to have to bash its head so it dies. Obviously I couldn’t do that, so I have Ellen de-hook it and stick it in my bag. The same man came over later as my fish is still flopping around. He tells me, “This is a male fish, I know because it is darker. When it came out of water, did it spray white things everywhere?” I was like “Hold up, what now? White things?” He says “Yes you know because when the fish knows it is going to die, it wants to spawn so it has more babies to replace him, so he sprays white things everywhere to try and make babies. Did you see this?” “UMMM no!” later realizing there was a lot of whiteish stuff in my bag. Anyways, 3 minutes later catch another fish. As we're catching fish, we hear this really loud sound, like a huge crash and we all look around like what was that?? An older man says "it's ok, it's just the ice cracking." We all look at each other in utter shock and fear and are like "and that's OK???" He says yes and it's nothing to worry about. Armando and Ellen are equally as successful in catching fish. Brigitte considers herself successful because she doesn't want to catch any fish (she feels bad for them, even though they add fish to the river so that the people can fish for them…).

This is the huge ice crack. 
This is me and my first catch of the day. 

Now we decide it’s time to eat, even though we’ve only caught 2 of our 3 maximum fish. We need cash so we walk down to the atm, buy some mulled wine (p.s. at this time, even after having their brains smashed by Armando and/or Ellen, my fish are STILL FLOPPING AROUND IN THE BAG) and head to have our fish grilled. The man takes our fish (6 total) and says “Ok, 6 fish, 9 dollars.” This is either a deal or a rip off because the sign says 3 dollars per fish. We were either only getting 3 fish for 9 dollars even though we caught 6 or we were getting 6 fish for what should have been much more than 9 dollars. Turns out the latter was true and we were very excited. The not so exciting part was when we handed over the fish and he laughed at us because they were too small. For your information, I HATE when Koreans laugh at me because they think I don’t understand something or I’m stupid. I don’t laugh at you for your small silly stupid things! DON’T JUDGE ME! Off my soap box. We stuff ourselves with fish till we’re full and move on to the ice tunnel.
This is us eating the fish...yes with chopsticks. 

On our way to the ice tunnel, Armando gets this very strong urge to go on this tube thing. It’s like you’re inner tubing on a lake in summer, but instead it’s a raft, behind a snowmobile, on ice, in winter. Previously, I was very set on not doing it because it looked stupid (the man was pulling people really slow) and I didn’t want a bruised but for going over a huge rock or something. With a lot of convincing, I went, and it was the best time ever. He pulled us suuuuuper fast (probably because we aren’t 8 years old), and we caught some crazy air. Overall, it was a really good time and super safe ;).



As you can see, a snowmobile and raft being pulled on ice...totally safe!


We finally made it to the ice tunnel, which was really cool, and then concluded our day with the ice museum, wandering around giant ice sculptures. Also really cool. They had sculptures of cultural things (palaces and whatnot) as well as random things (angel and butterfly wings).
Inside of ice tunnel (it changed colors)

We finally caught the bus back into Seoul (another 3 hours of sleeping) and a subway home. Overall, quite an awesome day! Hwacheon Ice Festival, you did me proud! 



I've never seen so many different kinds of winter/ice activities (snow boating, go karts on ice, 4 wheelers on ice, the activity above I showed you, ice skating, sled things. Soooo many options!)

How could we miss this sign the first time around, really?

Saturday, January 19, 2013

A Few Updates On my Life

Hello All. I just thought you might enjoy a few updates on how my life is over here in never never land where time flies so quick you don't even know what is happening.

For starters, I got a new co-teacher this week. My beloved previous co-teacher said goodbye to the kids on Monday, which gave Sara (the newb) one day to learn the ropes before diving head first into new water. Now I'm still not sure about Sara's teaching history, only because I have asked, but I think this week was quite a struggle. She's a trooper though and didn't let it get her too down. Although the management was hard for her (heck, I remember my first day teaching at this school and I had TWO WEEKS to observe before I started teaching) she was able to do it. It just made for a slightly scatter brained week. I realized how much Rhonda did and how much I've leaned on the fact that there are two of us prepping, lesson planning, and teaching because when all of a sudden there was just one of me trying to remember everything we needed and running all the routines and trying to manage the class at the same time. But have no fear, Sara is picking up on stuff, learning names, and figuring it out! Woo!

In other news, last night we celebrated our friend, Armando's birthday. For such event, we went to a wine buffet. That's right folks, all you can drink wine and appetizers for a whopping 35 dollas! The food was absolutely DELICIOUS and the wine was endless, at least from 6-9.  I think overall Armando had a good birthday and we all enjoyed celebrating it with him.

Today I'm on a journey to Itaewon. I've been there maybe twice, but I haven't really explored it. For those of you who don't know, it's a fairly Americanized area of Seoul. I'm really going go do a little shopping with a few of my co-workers/friends on a mission to find something very specific (more to come on this later). Wish me luck!